Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
FRAN LEBOWITZEven when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
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My favorite animal is steak.
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Nothing succeeds like address.
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Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
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I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
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The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Original thought is like original sin: both happened before you were born to people you could not have possibly met.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Ifyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
FRAN LEBOWITZ