Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
FRAN LEBOWITZEven when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
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The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.
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Nothing succeeds like address.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.
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If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don’t teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
FRAN LEBOWITZ