Do not, on a rainy day, ask your child what he feels like doing, because I assure you that what he feels like doing, you won’t feel like watching.
FRAN LEBOWITZRadio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
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Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
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Romantic love is mental illness. But it’s a pleasurable one. It’s a drug. It distorts reality, and that’s the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw.
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As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
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There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
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Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear the phone is for you.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
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All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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I never took hallucinogenic drugs because I never wanted my consciousness expanded one unnecessary iota.
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?
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Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.
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Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
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Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is being broadcast, the disk jockey is not allowed to talk.
FRAN LEBOWITZ