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Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.

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Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Anything Bother Children Discuss Small
I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Anything Behav Behave Courtesy Gently Heart High Morale People Politeness Repelinet Spirit Value
If you’re going to America, bring your own food.
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Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
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Average Great People Talk Small Thing Wine
Life is something to do when you can’t get to sleep.
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You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do.
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I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.
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Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky.
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Children Confection Every Freshly Obvious Received Sticky Tend Wash
Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
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I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
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Astonish Clean Country Enough Leave Rest World
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
FRAN LEBOWITZ

Country Taxi Vall
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
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All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
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Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
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