Polite conversation is rarely either.
FRAN LEBOWITZCalling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.
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Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.
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Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.
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You’re only as good as your last haircut.
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Don’t bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.
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Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
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Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
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Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.
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I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent to have a lot, and to behave with anything other than courtesy in the old sense of the word – politeness of the heart, a gentleness of the spirit.
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The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
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When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
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Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
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If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.
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All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
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Scientists – the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like the Bloomsbury set.
FRAN LEBOWITZ






