All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.
FRAN LEBOWITZThere is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior.
More Fran Lebowitz Quotes
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Polite conversation is rarely either.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Ifyou have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
I must take issue with the term ‘a mere child’, for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Your life story would not make a good book. Don’t even try.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Calling a taxi in Texas is like calling a rabbi in Iraq.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Nothing succeeds like address.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
FRAN LEBOWITZ -
When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.
FRAN LEBOWITZ