How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
ERMA BOMBECKIf I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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He who laughs lasts.
ERMA BOMBECK