My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
ERMA BOMBECKIf I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
-
-
Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECK -
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
ERMA BOMBECK -
A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
ERMA BOMBECK -
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.
ERMA BOMBECK -
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Success is outliving your failures.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Sometimes I can’t figure designers out. It’s as if they flunked human anatomy.
ERMA BOMBECK -
A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
ERMA BOMBECK -
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
ERMA BOMBECK -
A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECK -
If you can’t make it better, you can laugh at it.
ERMA BOMBECK