It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
ERMA BOMBECKOne never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
ERMA BOMBECK