Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
ERMA BOMBECKOne never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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Success is outliving your failures.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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He who laughs lasts.
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week?
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When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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Children make your life important.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
ERMA BOMBECK