No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
ERMA BOMBECKLaughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn’t even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.
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Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It’s too controversial.
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Maybe age is kinder to us than we think. With my bad eyes, I can’t see how bad I look, and with my rotten memory, I have a good excuse for getting out of a lot of stuff.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
ERMA BOMBECK