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Erma Bombeck Quote - A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.

A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.

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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECK

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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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He who laughs lasts.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
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It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
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As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
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One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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