A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
ERMA BOMBECKA grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
-
-
I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
ERMA BOMBECK -
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
ERMA BOMBECK -
When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
ERMA BOMBECK -
My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
ERMA BOMBECK -
Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECK -
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
ERMA BOMBECK -
He who laughs lasts.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
ERMA BOMBECK -
I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
ERMA BOMBECK -
It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.
ERMA BOMBECK -
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
ERMA BOMBECK -
One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.
ERMA BOMBECK -
Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
ERMA BOMBECK -
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
ERMA BOMBECK