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Erma Bombeck Quote - The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.

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Food Funny Life

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My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?
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When you look like your passport photo, it’s time to go home.
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Appearance Home Humor Time Travel Yourself
Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.
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A member of the committee slapped a name tag over my left bosom. “What shall we name the other one?” I smiled. She was not amused.
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I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
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Funny Give Up Myself See Sex Trust Woman
No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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A grandmother pretends she doesn’t know who you are on Halloween.
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives.
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
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Children make your life important.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.
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Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden.
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Grandparenthood is one of life’s rewards for surviving your own children.
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I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
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