If I had my life to live over, instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I’d have cherished ever moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
ERMA BOMBECKIt is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?
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People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
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The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
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Housework can kill you if done right.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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Pregnancy is the only time in a woman’s life she can help God work a miracle.
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When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
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Laughter rises out of tragedy when you need it the most, and rewards you for your courage.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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I never leaf through a copy of National Geographic without realizing how lucky we are to live in a society where it is traditional to wear clothes.
ERMA BOMBECK