Children make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECKI worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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I got to thinking one day about all those women on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night.
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There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.
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Don’t confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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When humor goes, there goes civilization.
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Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?
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Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.
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It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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When you’re lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.
ERMA BOMBECK