One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
ERMA BOMBECKI worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
More Erma Bombeck Quotes
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My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
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It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
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I just clipped 2 articles from a current magazine. One is a diet guaranteed to drop 5 pounds off my body in a weekend. The other is a recipe for a 6 minute pecan pie.
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When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
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I was trampled to death by a man who believed his luggage would be the first piece off. If he were an experienced traveler, he would know that the first piece of luggage belongs to no one. It’s just a dummy suitcase to give everyone hope.
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He who laughs lasts.
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I am not a glutton – I am an explorer of food.
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I worry about scientists discovering that lettuce has been fattening all along.
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it’s still snowing.
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When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
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I read one psychologist’s theory that said, “Never strike a child in your anger.” When could I strike him? When he is kissing me on my birthday? When he’s recuperating from measles? Do I slap the Bible out of his hand on Sunday?
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A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn’t charge more after midnight – or anything before midnight.
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Some emotions don’t make a lot of noise. It’s hard to hear pride. Caring is real faint – like a heartbeat. And pure love – why, some days it’s so quiet, you don’t even know it’s there.
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Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
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Every puppy should have a boy.
ERMA BOMBECK