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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.

Erma Bombeck

I’ve exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.
ERMA BOMBECK

Exercise Insect Inspiration Woman
Success is outliving your failures.
ERMA BOMBECK

Failure Growth Inspirational Live One Liner Success
As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I actually believed all those books belonged to her.
ERMA BOMBECK

Believe Book Children Friendship Herself Library Myself
Housework can kill you if done right.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Kill Work Yourself
When the going gets tough, the tough make cookies.
ERMA BOMBECK

Food Funny Path Tough
One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child’s name and how old he or she is.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Expectation Funny Life Oneself Sarcastic
The grass is always greener over the septic tank.
ERMA BOMBECK

Advice Appearance
People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.
ERMA BOMBECK

Doctor Funny Humor People Survive Money
Children make your life important.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Important Literature One Liner Worth
I haven’t trusted polls since I read that 62% of women had affairs during their lunch hour. I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up lunch for sex.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Give Up Myself See Sex Trust Woman
It is my theory you can’t get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.
ERMA BOMBECK

Funny Move Theory Yourself
Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted. Every evening they disappear. Most parents never imagine how hard they try to please us, and how miserable they feel when they think they have failed.
ERMA BOMBECK

Evening Failure Feeling Goodness Misery Sun
Kids need love the most when they’re acting most unlovable.
ERMA BOMBECK

Act Children Forgiveness Love
For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.
ERMA BOMBECK

Husband Marriage Myself Vacation. Children
Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn’t turn it on.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Ideas Light Myself Yourself
When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they’re finished, I climb out.
ERMA BOMBECK

Children Family Funny Mom Myself Safety

Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.

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Seize the moment. Remember all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.

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Popular Authors

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