All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKERIf you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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A girl’s best friend is her mutter.
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And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.
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Vice is nice, but liquor is quicker.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.
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If all the young ladies who attended the Yale promenade dance were laid end to end, no one would be the least surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.
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Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn’t be at all surprised.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Of Orson Welles: It’s like meeting God without dying.
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Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.
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You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think.
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You can’t teach an old dogma new tricks.
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Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
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This is me apologizing. I am a fool, a bird-brain, a liar and a horse-thief. I wouldn’t touch a superlative again with an umbrella.
DOROTHY PARKER