Three be the things I shall never attain: Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
DOROTHY PARKERIf you don’t have anything nice to say, come sit by me.
More Dorothy Parker Quotes
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It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The cleverest woman on earth is the biggest fool on earth with a man.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I’d like to have money. And I’d like to be a good writer. These two can come together, and I hope they will, but if that’s too adorable, I’d rather have money.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Most good women are hidden treasures who are only safe because nobody looks for them.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Writing well is the best revenge.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.
DOROTHY PARKER -
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The definition of eternity is two people and a ham.
DOROTHY PARKER -
His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.
DOROTHY PARKER -
That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.
DOROTHY PARKER -
All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.
DOROTHY PARKER -
All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don’t catch horses going around looking like people, do you?
DOROTHY PARKER -
By the time you swear you’re his, Shivering and sighing. And he vows his passion is, Infinite, undying. Lady make note of this — One of you is lying.
DOROTHY PARKER -
I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.
DOROTHY PARKER -
The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires.
DOROTHY PARKER







