“If you’re so smart, let’s see you get out of the Army.”

The team has come along slow but fast.

You have to have a catcher because if you don’t you’re likely to have a lot of passed balls.

Without losers, where would the winners be?

There comes a time in every man’s life, and I’ve had plenty of them.

If you’re playing baseball and thinking about managing, you’re crazy. You’d be better off thinking about being an owner.

Been in this game one-hundred years, but I see new ways to lose ’em I never knew existed before.

The Yankees don’t pay me to win every day, just two out of three.

They told me my services were no longer desired because they wanted to put in a youth program as an advance way of keeping the club going. I’ll never make the mistake of being seventy again.

I came in here and a fella asked me to have a drink. I said I don’t drink. Then another fella said hear you and Joe DiMaggio aren’t speaking and I said I’ll take that drink.

The Mets have shown me more ways to lose than I even knew existed.

The trouble is not that players have sex the night before a game. It’s that they stay out all night looking for it.

Ability is the art of getting credit for all the home runs somebody else hits.

When you are younger you get blamed for crimes you never committed and when you’re older you begin to get credit for virtues you never possessed. It evens itself out.

I’ve tried to give a dollar and 25 cents in work for every dollar paid me.

I don’t know if he throws a spitball but he sure spits on the ball.

If I’ve got a good pinch-hitter, I hate to have him stay on the bench with men on the bases in an early inning. He may end the game right there.

It’s all about what they can get out of me.

Rap for me is like making movies, telling stories, and getting the emotions of the songs through in just as deep a way.

First one, then the other, getting the upper hand, and too seldom fusing till the result has the mellowness of full achievement.

Someday every woman will have orgasms- like every family has color TV- and we can all get on with the business of life.

I sing a lot, so if I have lipstick, it gets all over the microphone, so I rarely wear lipstick.

I only go out to get me a fresh appetite for being alone.

I had a pretty public divorce. They’re not easy – divorces – and it took me a long time to really get through.

Fashion is like a party. Getting dressed is preparing to play a role.