If you don’t wake up every day happy, change something.
BOB SAGETThe favorite method of vice is to diss all responsibility be work or social, go off by myself, and enjoy a good steak and a great glass of wine. Oh yeah, and my kids are there too.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
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If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
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I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
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A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
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I’m fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
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That was not Bob Saget. His comedic style is definitely more twisted, and he has an edgier side than he showed in Full House.
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Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, ‘you don’t mention that part here.’ But that’s what’s interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
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The secret to raising children is to love them… And teach them to operate in a way you can tolerate them the best.
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Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
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I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them
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What do you do if you’re in the car and your girlfriend touches your crotch then asks you to remind her to get kitchen scissors?
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I’d like a nice piece of salmon that’s not too pink inside and yet isn’t too dry or crisp either.
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Jon Lovitz. Jon, your act is like masturbation: you’re the only one who enjoys it, and you should be arrested for doing it in public.
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My mom told me she thinks a man in the market felt her up today. I asked, Where did he touch you? She said, On my knee, Bobby.
BOB SAGET