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Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?

Bob Saget

A lot of the comedians don’t even tell the joke. Like only three tell the joke, the rest of them dissect it.
BOB SAGET

Comedian Jokes Three
The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
BOB SAGET

Hands Selfish Trying
No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGET

Bus Driver Drivers
Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
BOB SAGET

Fishes Nothing Pieces
I don’t like to drink alone ’cause there’s nobody to fight with.
BOB SAGET

Causes Drink Fighting
Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.
BOB SAGET

Creativity Day Kindness New
Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
BOB SAGET

Realizing Sometimes Wish
Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET

Kindness Necessity Virtue
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
BOB SAGET

Dirty Jobs Night
I was going to do a big radio show, and I said to my driver, ‘Radio can wait, take me to the Full House house.’ It literally was a drive-by.
BOB SAGET

House Waiting Yesterday
Just went to the gym and worked on every body part. Four people slapped me.
BOB SAGET

Body Four People
You learn who your friends are when you find out who will lie for you.
BOB SAGET

Friend Learn Lying
I have no agenda, nothing to control.
BOB SAGET

Agendas Control Nothing
Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, ‘you don’t mention that part here.’ But that’s what’s interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
BOB SAGET

Interesting People Way
My favorite Dylan song? I think it’s ‘Just Like a Woman.’ It always makes me cry.
BOB SAGET

Cry Favorite Song Thinking
Ladies, apologies, but isn’t ‘vintage’ just used stuff?
BOB SAGET

Apology Stuff Vintage

Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?

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Met a girl the other nite and told her- Before you can be with someone you have to know the value of yourself. So does $200 seem reasonable?

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Popular Authors

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