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Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.

Bob Saget

The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
BOB SAGET

Squirrels Way Yards
It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don’t tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o’clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
BOB SAGET

Dirty Jobs Night
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Much Thinking Too
I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
BOB SAGET

Aristocracy Guy Kids
My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
BOB SAGET

Diapers Saint Wife
It’s so nice to share a day as beautiful as this one with hundreds of thousands of reckless drivers.
BOB SAGET

Beautiful Nice Reckless
Nobody can tell me what I can or can’t do, except they can.
BOB SAGET

Except Nobody People
My haircutter figured out I whine less if I’m under general anesthesia. I just hope when I awaken they haven’t given me a Brazilian wax.
BOB SAGET

Anesthesia Given Havens
I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
BOB SAGET

Body Morning Red
I don’t feel like I’m with you. And I say, You know what? That was your mother’s gripe, too. And she was right. And you’re also correct. When you cop to something, you get to the next level. In this case, the next level is: I just learned something from my twelve-year-old.
BOB SAGET

Case Feel Level Mother Something
I’m doing 5000 seat theaters and audiences are going nuts, it’s fantastic and it makes me very happy. I’m dirty, but not like this; I just do comedy that I find funny. I’m working on a new tv show for cable and it’s not set up yet.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Dirty Nuts Show Shows Television
If you’re a host of a video show and you’re on the cleanest show on television for eight years, people want to say, ‘Well, that’s what that person does.’ That was the dilemma for me, career-wise.
BOB SAGET

Career Eight Wise
I never went to camp as a kid. I couldn’t get into an Ivy League school. I wouldn’t join a biker club.
BOB SAGET

Biker Club Kids School
My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.
BOB SAGET

Choices Done Procrastination
A lot of people ask me what my favorite episode of Full House was, I always tell them: it was the last one!
BOB SAGET

House Lasts People
A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
BOB SAGET

Good Naked Together Way

Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.

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Today is a brand new day. A day of change, of promise, of creativity, of kindness, and of love. I’m going back to bed.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bob Saget Quotes