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I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.

Bob Hope

Ronald Reagan is not a typical politician because he doesn’t know how to lie, cheat, and steal. He’s always had an agent for that.
BOB HOPE

Agents Lying Typical
I saw more courage, more good humor in the face of discomfort, more love in an era of hate and more devotion to duty than could exist under tyranny.
BOB HOPE

Country Courage Devotion Discomfort Face Good Hate Humor More
And on nearby islands, the Japanese army was eating raw fish. We felt sorry for them.
BOB HOPE

Country Funny People Sorry War
My next door neighbor just had a pacemaker installed. They’re still working the bugs out, though. Every time he makes love, my garage door opens.
BOB HOPE

Doors Even Garage Love Makin Next
Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.
BOB HOPE

Drinking Night Suffering
The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.
BOB HOPE

Apart Dog Miles Pet Tree
I love flying. I’ve been to almost as many places as my luggage.
BOB HOPE

Flying Funny Travel Luggage
Titleist has offered me a big contract not to play its balls.
BOB HOPE

Balls Golf Play
I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPE

Caddies Golf Lying
If you think golf is relaxing, you’re not playing it right.
BOB HOPE

Golf Relax Right Thinking
When they asked Jack Benny to do something for the Actor’s Orphanage – he shot both his parents and moved in.
BOB HOPE

Actors Comedy Parent
The service at the Imperial (Tokyo) is the finest I’ve encountered anywhere. There was a button next to my bed marked ROOM SERVICE – and a maid to press it for me.
BOB HOPE

Button Country Funny Hotel Humorous Maid Press Room Service
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE

Instant Laughter Vacation
He hits the ball 130 yards and his jewelry goes 150.
BOB HOPE

Balls Go Golf Yards
Failure is the only thing I’ve ever been a success at.
BOB HOPE

Decent Garden State
The Concorde is great. It gives you three extra hours to find your luggage.
BOB HOPE

Funny Giving Humor

I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.

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I’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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