I never kick my ball in the rough or improve my lie in a sand trap. For that I have a caddie.
BOB HOPEI’ve never wanted an Oscar, although they are reassuring to an actor who doesn’t know how really great he is.
More Bob Hope Quotes
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I do benefits for all religions – I’d hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality.
BOB HOPE -
I see the Beatles have arrived from England. They were 40 pounds overweight – and that was just their hair.
BOB HOPE -
I was called Rembrandt Hope in my boxing days, because I spent so much time on the canvas.
BOB HOPE -
Cypress Point is such a beautiful place, but it’s also very exclusive. They had a very successful membership drive last month. They drove out forty members.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve always felt England was a great place for a comic to work. It’s an island and the audience can’t run very far.
BOB HOPE -
Congratulations to whoever is finally booking music we love. It’s going to get us out of the house after dark!
BOB HOPE -
Perfume acts as an anesthetic. By the time she floats a little your way, you’ll promise her anything.
BOB HOPE -
Contrary to what certain comedians have led you to believe, the national French pastime is picnicking.
BOB HOPE -
It’s amazing how many people you see on TV. I did my first television show a month ago, and the next day five million television sets were sold. The people who couldn’t sell theirs threw them away.
BOB HOPE -
Dying is to be avoided because it can ruin your whole career.
BOB HOPE -
I was lucky, you know, I always had a beautiful girl and the money was good. Although I would have done the whole thing over for, oh, perhaps half.
BOB HOPE -
Laughter is therapy-an instant vacation.
BOB HOPE -
My secret for staying young is good food, plenty of rest, and a makeup man with a spray gun.
BOB HOPE -
Out here in the Pacific, they have typhoons and hurricanes that blow over 200 miles an hour. We have tornadoes and hurricanes back home, but I don’t worry about them. The mortgage on my house is so heavy that nothing could budge it.
BOB HOPE -
I’ve always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there.
BOB HOPE