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Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.

Bo Burnham

For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: ‘I’ll say anything, man!’. I’m not quite there yet.
BO BURNHAM

Comedians Men Say Anything
Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Enjoy Fun
I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Fans People
I’m interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they’re scary, and they’re important to think about.
BO BURNHAM

Interested Real Scary Thinking
It’s not most important to communicate myself on stage as it is to be as funny or interesting as I possibly can on stage.
BO BURNHAM

Character Names Play
I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
BO BURNHAM

Bears Beliefs Bipolar Mets
We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
BO BURNHAM

Blue Country Moon People
Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
BO BURNHAM

Best Laughter Medicine
I’m actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn’t say.
BO BURNHAM

Actually Conversation Open Say
Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
BO BURNHAM

Broke Celebrate Happy Thanksgiving
My persona is most importantly just to communicate the material in a way that is most funny and meaningful in the moment. It’s more like a character that’s sculpted for whatever joke needs communicating at the moment.
BO BURNHAM

Character Meaningful Way
I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
BO BURNHAM

Love Perfect Trying You
I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
BO BURNHAM

Close College Comedy Going
Where are all the sour patch parents?
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Parent
I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Gay Humor Jesus
“Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?” I don’t worship comedy; at the end of the day I don’t fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
BO BURNHAM

Audience Awordship Comedy Unwquestiongly
Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you’re on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don’t want to be onstage looking like a robot,
BO BURNHAM

Brain Challenges Emotional
I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Comedy Watches
I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
BO BURNHAM

Designer Funny Humor Love You
What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
BO BURNHAM

Internet Kings Pirate Song Try
Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Theory
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Said Staring Stop
When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
BO BURNHAM

Ideas Thinking Writing
I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
BO BURNHAM

Dollars Long Pussy
I’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
BO BURNHAM

About Caution Real Things Understand
I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Girlfriend Uncle
You love the people that give you money and attention? Of course you do, that’s not selfless that you love your fans, that’s ridiculous.
BO BURNHAM

Attention Love Money Ridiculous Selfless

Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.

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Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.

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Popular Authors

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