“Where are all the sour patch parents?”

In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.

I’m interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they’re scary, and they’re important to think about.

Critics have said I write without spontaneity, in cold blood. I don’t. I write in hot blood.

I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.

Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.

I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.

I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.

I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.

I’ve been doin’ drive-bys all of my life. Except the bullets are newspapers, the car is my bike.

I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.

At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.

For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.

Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop’s another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you’re talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It’s like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.

There are a shitload of songs about being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back and I talk about weed and my cat and being lazy a lot.

True ideas are those that we can assimilate, validate, corroborate, and verify. False ideas are those that we cannot

Love is all about… whistles.

On Halloween, the parents sent their kids out looking like me.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

He really showed me something. Struck out three times. Made an error that lost the game. Parents were throwing things at our car and swearing at us as we drove off. Gosh, I was proud.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Children curse their parents for their wrinkled skin and hoarse voices. Those now old children also want to stop time, but at another time. They want to freeze their own children at the center of time.

Children grow rapidly, forget the centuries-long embrace from their parents, which to them lasted but seconds. Children become adults, live far from their parents, live their own houses, learn ways of their own, suffer pain, grow old.

Each person knows that somewhere is recorded the moment she was born, the moment she took her first step, the moment of her first passion, the moment she said goodbye to her parents.

My parents were so poor when I was a kid, I never went anywhere.