“I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.”

I’m happy with what I’m doing. I try not to focus on how I’ve changed. I just try to focus on what I’m doing now.

People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.

I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.

I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.

Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.

I don’t want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I’m just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.

The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.

There’s a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that’s a bit blurred in my mind.

The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.

Poverty. Racism. Isn’t it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?

I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone’s watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.

I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.

Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.

They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.

For a seriously autistic kid, the best prognosis might be getting into a mainstream school without being too much of a shadow. For a moderately autistic kid the best prognosis is full recovery.

It’s absolutely imperative for the parents and the typical kids to have time by themselves, to go out to dinner or even go on vacation while someone else cares for the autistic child.

The reason you want your kids to pay attention in school is you haven’t the faintest idea how to do their homework.

Kids will not listen to that. They’re going to experiment no matter what, so you have to be honest.

Asian people are very practical and come from a conservative world. The parents want their kids to be doctors and lawyers. There are casting calls for Asian children, but once the parents find out the children might miss school, they’re opposed to it.

All my favorite movies are American movies since I was a kid.

Kids can’t see us bombing, and then listen to us talking about getting guns out of the schools. How can we tell them to solve problems without violence, if, in fact, we can’t show an ability to solve problems without violence?

My mother is an amazing woman. Not only did she manage the entire household, she noticed a gift in each of her kids and instilled confidence in all of us that that gift would take us wherever we wanted to go.