“I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.”

At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.

For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.

Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop’s another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you’re talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It’s like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.

There are a shitload of songs about being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back and I talk about weed and my cat and being lazy a lot.

True ideas are those that we can assimilate, validate, corroborate, and verify. False ideas are those that we cannot

Love is all about… whistles.

I’m just ready to keep going.

I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.

I am very lucky to have the opportunity to travel to so many amazing destinations for work!

Let a Secretary of Peace be appointed.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

I think the comedy clubs tend to homogenize the acts a little bit, because they force them to be palatable in way too many environments.

I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it’s totally not, which is why I’m trying to get away from it because it’s just easy and automatic.

All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.

Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.

One does not substitute oneself for the past, one merely adds to it a new link.

You will obtain a vision of matter that is perhaps fatiguing for your imagination, but pure and stripped of what the requirements of life make you add to it in external perception.

But I have to add – and this answers your other question – this catholicity in time and in space is only meaningful for me if there is, at the same time, a concentration on the Gospel.

To worry is to add another hazard.

A film is its own thing and in an ideal world I think a film should be discovered knowing nothing and nothing should be added to it and nothing should be subtracted from it.

While adding the finishing touches to a painting might appear insignificant, it is much harder to do than one might suppose.

April fool, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.

Problems in science are sometimes made easier by adding complications.