When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
BO BURNHAMI actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
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I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
BO BURNHAM -
Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.
BO BURNHAM -
How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
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The strange thing with Wikipedia is that the first article that ever gets written about you will define your Wikipedia page forever.
BO BURNHAM -
They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
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I don’t like calling myself a “feminist” only because I don’t think I’ve done anything active enough to call myself one. It’d be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I’m not racist.
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My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that’s a lovely addition.
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At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.
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I know it’s the comedian’s instinct to say, “Do it, man, nothing’s off-limits! It’s cool, bro!” I don’t know if that’s the answer for me.
BO BURNHAM -
I’d really love to make something that doesn’t involve my stupid face.
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The biggest danger, for me, with making yourself your act is that a lot of people with think they know you for better or worse. That’s an ongoing struggle with me and it can get really trippy sometimes.
BO BURNHAM -
Where are all the sour patch parents?
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Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop’s another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you’re talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It’s like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.
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I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.
BO BURNHAM -
Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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“Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?” I don’t worship comedy; at the end of the day I don’t fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
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Love is all about… whistles.
BO BURNHAM -
When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
BO BURNHAM -
Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
BO BURNHAM -
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM -
There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?
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I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something.
BO BURNHAM -
And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
BO BURNHAM -
All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
BO BURNHAM -
The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
BO BURNHAM