Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
BO BURNHAMWomen are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
-
-
What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
BO BURNHAM -
My persona is most importantly just to communicate the material in a way that is most funny and meaningful in the moment. It’s more like a character that’s sculpted for whatever joke needs communicating at the moment.
BO BURNHAM -
For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
BO BURNHAM -
I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone’s watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
BO BURNHAM -
I think it’s using people, I think it’s like encouraging something that’s unhealthy, telling people you love them. “I love you.” Oh really, you love your fans?
BO BURNHAM -
I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.
BO BURNHAM -
There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?
BO BURNHAM -
If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
BO BURNHAM -
Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
BO BURNHAM -
I’m happy with what I’m doing. I try not to focus on how I’ve changed. I just try to focus on what I’m doing now.
BO BURNHAM -
I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
BO BURNHAM -
For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: ‘I’ll say anything, man!’. I’m not quite there yet.
BO BURNHAM -
The average person has one Fallopian tube.
BO BURNHAM -
I don’t like calling myself a “feminist” only because I don’t think I’ve done anything active enough to call myself one. It’d be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I’m not racist.
BO BURNHAM -
Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
BO BURNHAM -
I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
BO BURNHAM -
I’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
BO BURNHAM -
It’s not most important to communicate myself on stage as it is to be as funny or interesting as I possibly can on stage.
BO BURNHAM -
Comedy is the one absolutely self-aware art form. Actually, hip-hop’s another one, I suppose. Because in your songs you’re talking about how good a hip-hop artist you are. It’s like a painter painting a panting of himself painting a painting.
BO BURNHAM -
I like to inject a bit of production value and flair to comedy, or at least to my little corner of comedy.
BO BURNHAM -
Where are all the sour patch parents?
BO BURNHAM -
I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
BO BURNHAM -
If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that.
BO BURNHAM -
When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
BO BURNHAM -
Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
BO BURNHAM -
I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.
BO BURNHAM