I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
BO BURNHAMWhen I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
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I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.
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How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
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The classic comedian says there’s nothing that’s taboo; if you laugh at one thing you’ve got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.
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The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
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I think it’s using people, I think it’s like encouraging something that’s unhealthy, telling people you love them. “I love you.” Oh really, you love your fans?
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If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that.
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They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
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What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
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Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
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Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
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I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it’s totally not, which is why I’m trying to get away from it because it’s just easy and automatic.
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I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
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What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
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My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that’s a lovely addition.
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I’m interested in taboos for certain reasons. They can dramatise things and they’re scary, and they’re important to think about.
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I’m actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn’t say.
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I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
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My persona on stage was always coming from a place of I know better than you and I’m going to be a little bit pretentious in your face with these sort of crass ideas.
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I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
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We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
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When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
BO BURNHAM