Love is all about… whistles.
BO BURNHAMI’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
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The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
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I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
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Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.
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I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.
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Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.
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Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.
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I’m gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.
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I’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
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In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.
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I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name.
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If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that.
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I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.
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I have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
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Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
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I think it’s using people, I think it’s like encouraging something that’s unhealthy, telling people you love them. “I love you.” Oh really, you love your fans?
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People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
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Poverty. Racism. Isn’t it strange, only the homeless are begging for change?
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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
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