I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
BO BURNHAMFor some comedians it feels so cool to be like: ‘I’ll say anything, man!’. I’m not quite there yet.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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When life gets you down, make a comforter!
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I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
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For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form.
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It’s not most important to communicate myself on stage as it is to be as funny or interesting as I possibly can on stage.
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For some comedians it feels so cool to be like: ‘I’ll say anything, man!’. I’m not quite there yet.
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If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
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The biggest danger, for me, with making yourself your act is that a lot of people with think they know you for better or worse. That’s an ongoing struggle with me and it can get really trippy sometimes.
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
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I’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
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The strength of comedy is I don’t have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
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People do complain about the way I act on stage… They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
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We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
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There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?
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What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
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I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.
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They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
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Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
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Squaring numbers are just like women. If they’re under thirteen, just do them in your head.
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.
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My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that’s a lovely addition.
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