“There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change.”

That’s why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.

You give up your dream, you give up.

It’s money. I remember it from when I was single

I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.

I started examining history and then everything related to the theater. History, art, all the other studies, if I could link them into the theater, then it became alive for me. It just opened up my eyes.

Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.

[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.

At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.

My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I’ve already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.

Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.

I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.

Don’t give up your power.

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.

I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.

The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.

When I’ve gotten criticism, it’s that it’s too long, too soft, didn’t hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What’s he doing hitting the government?

I think the biggest misconception about me probably is … I don’t prey on the weak. I ain’t a bully, but I ain’t no saint, either.

Some things we forget. But many things we remember on the mental screen, which is the biggest screen of all.

Playing with Queen was the biggest moment of my career. It was like living a childhood fantasy.

No big shocker that following Jesus is costly. The best things in life always are.

If you’re going to win games, you’re going to have to come up with the big hits. That’s the bottom line.

I’m an optimistic guy. I’m one of those big dreamers. I’m one of those kids with that annoying imagination.

One thing I’m big on is believing in giving an album time. I’ll say you’ll have to give an album three years before you can call it a classic. If you can’t listen to it three years later then it’s not really a classic.

I’m a big bike fan – my homies got Harleys and all kind of choppers – but to be honest I’m scared to ride motorcycles like that.