“It’s money. I remember it from when I was single”

Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don’t think you can make your kids’ dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.

That’s why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.

You give up your dream, you give up.

I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.

I started examining history and then everything related to the theater. History, art, all the other studies, if I could link them into the theater, then it became alive for me. It just opened up my eyes.

Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.

[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.

At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.

My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I’ve already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.

Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.

I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.

Don’t give up your power.

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.

I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.

The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.

When I’ve gotten criticism, it’s that it’s too long, too soft, didn’t hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What’s he doing hitting the government?

In our time, the curse is monetary illiteracy, just as inability to read plain print was the curse of earlier centuries.

Just as men must give up economic control when their wives share the responsibility for the family’s financial well-being, women must give up exclusive parental control when their husbands assume more responsibility for child care.

Like I said, I’ve got too much respect for women to marry them, but that doesn’t mean you can’t support them emotionally and financially.

I was very, very financially secure my whole life. I have been very lucky to say that.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

The way to stop financial joyriding is to arrest the chauffeur, not the automobile.

I’m not living large; I just want to live comfortably. I wanna have financial stability that is unshakable.

The financial markets generally are unpredictable. So that one has to have different scenarios… The idea that you can actually predict what’s going to happen contradicts my way of looking at the market.