black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.

Billy Crystal

I have 40-something intros [that Davis Jr. did]; all are different, none of them happened. And it was hilarious.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Different Happened Something
If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dad Father Respect
I think when I feel I’m at my best is when I’m on stage, and it’s my version of jazz because it’s just riffing or something.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedy Jazz Thinking
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Being Funny Sex Sexy Single
From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Ghouls Saws Sids
As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Actors Character Directors
You give up your dream, you give up.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dream Giving Vision
There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Kids Nice Thinking
In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Football Games School
At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Remember Same Things
I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Caught Limits Married
Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Celebrate Children Easter Guess Jesus Peep
I’m comfortable being old… being black… being Jewish.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Being Black Comedy Old
That’s why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedian Host Mentality Situations Thinking
Don’t give up your power.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Don't Give Up Giving Up Power
You really have to have some muscle to be on the stage in front of the world.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Muscles Stage World
Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedy Kids Scary
We were in front of a live audience and I would be acting with the man who was playing my lover, and we used those words, and the audience would titter and laugh, and make me uncomfortable doing the scenes. …
BILLY CRYSTAL

Audience Front Growing Men Self Used
What’s so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you’re constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Frustrating Life Over Starting
A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Couple Laughing People
I don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Fifth Grade Growing Height
Change is such hard work.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Change Inspirational Work
I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Country Free Life Sucker
I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Goes Laughing On
At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Bases Nightly Something
It’s money. I remember it from when I was single
BILLY CRYSTAL

Financial Funny Money
I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Hearing Noise Scared

I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Billy Crystal Quotes