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A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.

Billy Crystal

I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Hands Sex Two
From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Ghouls Saws Sids
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
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Inspirational Life Wise
Two thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
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Celebrate Children Easter Guess Jesus Peep
Don’t give up your power.
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Don't Give Up Giving Up Power
I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
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Hearing Noise Scared
You really have to have some muscle to be on the stage in front of the world.
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Muscles Stage World
I was introducing [director and producer] Hal Roach – Mr. Roach was 100 years old, he was one of the fathers of early days in films, he put Laurel with Hardy, he created the Our Gang kids, and all these silent movies he did – he was a giant.
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Father Introducing Kids Producer Years
I started examining history and then everything related to the theater. History, art, all the other studies, if I could link them into the theater, then it became alive for me. It just opened up my eyes.
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Eyes History Open Related Started
I’m a baby. I sleep like a baby – I’m up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
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Baby Night Sleep
Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
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Being Funny Sex Sexy Single
There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
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Big Clothes Difference Mostly
You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they’re raising them. You can’t push your way into areas where you shouldn’t be saying anything.
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Hands Kids Play
As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.
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Actors Character Directors
I think when I feel I’m at my best is when I’m on stage, and it’s my version of jazz because it’s just riffing or something.
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Comedy Jazz Thinking
Dad had a music store, and he’d often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
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Dad Home Style
Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
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Acting Comedy Truthful
You have to always remember they’re not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death – then hand them back.
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Death Kids Love Own Play
There’s only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids.
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Kids Nice Thinking
At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
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Remember Same Things
The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
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Ashes Friday Passion
Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don’t think you can make your kids’ dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.
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Dream Kids Thinking
Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
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Book Improvising Play School
If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
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Dad Father Respect
Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
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Country Funny Humorous
What’s so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you’re constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.
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Frustrating Life Over Starting
I’m comfortable being old… being black… being Jewish.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Being Black Comedy Old

A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.

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A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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