The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
BILLY CRYSTAL[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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I’m a baby. I sleep like a baby – I’m up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
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From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
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I have 40-something intros [that Davis Jr. did]; all are different, none of them happened. And it was hilarious.
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I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
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When we had the girls, my daughter Jenny gave us like a Bible from my daughter of, “Don’t feed them this; don’t feed them that, if she says this, don’t say that,” It was crazy!
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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
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Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
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Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead.
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I can’t be funny if my feet don’t feel right.
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You give up your dream, you give up.
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In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.
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I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
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Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
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That’s the thing about jazz: it’s free flowing, it comes from your soul.
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I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
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Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
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I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet.
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As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.
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I don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
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I think when I feel I’m at my best is when I’m on stage, and it’s my version of jazz because it’s just riffing or something.
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I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.
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Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck’s puff pastries.
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I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.
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Change is such hard work.
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
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We were in front of a live audience and I would be acting with the man who was playing my lover, and we used those words, and the audience would titter and laugh, and make me uncomfortable doing the scenes. …
BILLY CRYSTAL