Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
BILLY CRYSTALDon’t give up your power.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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What’s so fascinating and frustrating and great about life is that you’re constantly starting over, all the time, and I love that.
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I was introducing [director and producer] Hal Roach – Mr. Roach was 100 years old, he was one of the fathers of early days in films, he put Laurel with Hardy, he created the Our Gang kids, and all these silent movies he did – he was a giant.
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As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.
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I don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
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When I’ve gotten criticism, it’s that it’s too long, too soft, didn’t hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What’s he doing hitting the government?
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I’m comfortable being old… being black… being Jewish.
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If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
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There’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
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From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
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The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
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Dad had a music store, and he’d often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
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We were in front of a live audience and I would be acting with the man who was playing my lover, and we used those words, and the audience would titter and laugh, and make me uncomfortable doing the scenes. …
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When comedy is good, it’s jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It’s all melody to me.
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When we had the girls, my daughter Jenny gave us like a Bible from my daughter of, “Don’t feed them this; don’t feed them that, if she says this, don’t say that,” It was crazy!
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Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
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You have to always remember they’re not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death – then hand them back.
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That’s the thing about jazz: it’s free flowing, it comes from your soul.
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Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
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I used to limp around my neighborhood imitating him. I did my Bar Mitzvah with an Oklahoma drawl.
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I’d like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
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I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.
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It’s money. I remember it from when I was single
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I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
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Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
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At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
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