I don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
BILLY CRYSTALThere’s a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there’s usually only one thing you can do. Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.
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I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet.
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My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I’ve already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.
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You have to always remember they’re not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death – then hand them back.
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From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
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I’d like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
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I never stopped believing in us and I never felt like I was wanting for anything, except for my father, and that was not going to be. I describe in the book [that] I don’t think I ever felt young again in that way.
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
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Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
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I’m comfortable being old… being black… being Jewish.
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Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
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Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
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When we had the girls, my daughter Jenny gave us like a Bible from my daughter of, “Don’t feed them this; don’t feed them that, if she says this, don’t say that,” It was crazy!
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Bambi, to a kid, was scary.
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Change is such hard work.
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