Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
BILLY CRYSTALI never stopped believing in us and I never felt like I was wanting for anything, except for my father, and that was not going to be. I describe in the book [that] I don’t think I ever felt young again in that way.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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I was introducing [director and producer] Hal Roach – Mr. Roach was 100 years old, he was one of the fathers of early days in films, he put Laurel with Hardy, he created the Our Gang kids, and all these silent movies he did – he was a giant.
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You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they’re raising them. You can’t push your way into areas where you shouldn’t be saying anything.
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Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck’s puff pastries.
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From the first time I saw Sid Caesar be funny I knew that’s what I had to do.
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My grandparents invented joylessness. They were not fun. I’ve already had more fun with my grandchildren than my grandparents ever had with me.
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I’m going to go on just living and laughing and loving.
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I’m a sucker for a free tuxedo.
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I don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
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Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
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It’s money. I remember it from when I was single
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When I’ve gotten criticism, it’s that it’s too long, too soft, didn’t hit the government hard enough. Then when I do hit the government, they go, What’s he doing hitting the government?
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I’d like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
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In high school, I was the class comedian as opposed to the class clown. The difference is the class clown is the guy who drops his pants at the football game, the class comedian is the guy who talked him into it.
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A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.
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It is better to look good than to feel good.
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Change is such hard work.
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
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That’s why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.
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I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
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Dad had a music store, and he’d often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
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I’m comfortable being old… being black… being Jewish.
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That’s the thing about jazz: it’s free flowing, it comes from your soul.
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When we had the girls, my daughter Jenny gave us like a Bible from my daughter of, “Don’t feed them this; don’t feed them that, if she says this, don’t say that,” It was crazy!
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I’m a baby. I sleep like a baby – I’m up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
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If you do something for the first time, you will always remember it. If your Dad has something to do with it, you write about it.
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At some point I stopped stand-up because I didn’t have something to say on a nightly basis.
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