Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
BILLY CONNOLLYI started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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A fart is just your arse applauding.
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I don’t aim to offend.
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People die all the time. It’s just that you’re not around.
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If you give people a chance, they shine.
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I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.
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When I read ‘Be real, don’t get caught acting,’ I thought, ‘How the hell do you do that?’.
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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
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I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.
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If I had a hammer, there’d be no more folksingers.
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So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
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There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
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Sometimes there’s a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
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I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.
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A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
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It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he’s telling them all different things.
BILLY CONNOLLY






