If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
BILLY CONNOLLYI’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
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The great thing about Glasgow is that if there’s a nuclear attack it’ll look exactly the same afterwards.
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Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding’s a mystery to me now. You can’t go back, your life changes every day.
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I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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I don’t have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I’ve done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that’s mostly what I’m offered.
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There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
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Oh aye…my Father would thrash me every now and then. He’d talk while he did it too! He’d hit me and shout, ‘Have ye had enough?’ Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? ‘Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???’
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I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
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I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
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There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
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If you want to lose a bit of weight, don’t eat anything out of a bucket.
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Sometimes there’s a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
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I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
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I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
BILLY CONNOLLY