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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.

Billy Connolly

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?
BILLY CONNOLLY

Funny Humor Jesus
There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Adventure Being Happy Running
The great thing about Glasgow is that if there’s a nuclear attack it’ll look exactly the same afterwards.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Afterward Comedy Looks Nuclear
Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding’s a mystery to me now. You can’t go back, your life changes every day.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Become Changing Clothes Life Successful
I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Believe Book Care Film Movie
I don’t have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I’ve done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that’s mostly what I’m offered.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Dog Doors Independent Stuff
There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Dear Different Element Venue
Oh aye…my Father would thrash me every now and then. He’d talk while he did it too! He’d hit me and shout, ‘Have ye had enough?’ Had enough? Whit kind of question is that? ‘Why, Father, would another kick in the balls be out of the question???’
BILLY CONNOLLY

Balls Enough Father Shout
I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
BILLY CONNOLLY

Consciously Home Intention Numbers People
I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.
BILLY CONNOLLY

About Always Children Comedy Country
In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Differences Everything Funny Menu Travel
There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Country Seasons Travel Winter
If you want to lose a bit of weight, don’t eat anything out of a bucket.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Buckets Lose Utensils Weight
Sometimes there’s a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Anywhere Caverns Funny Humor Out Seen Tacks
I decided to stop drinking while it was still my idea.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Drinking Ideas Stills Stop
I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Believe Jesus Teacher

I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.

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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.

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