Tread gently on anyone who looks at you sideways.
BILLY CONNOLLYFor me, it’s about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Acting is a different discipline. On stage I’m free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I was brought up a Catholic, for that you get an A level in guilt.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
There’s a fine line you have to tread because you don’t know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I worry about ridiculous things, you know, how does a guy who drives a snowplough get to work in the morning. … That can keep me awake for days.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he think he was doing at the time?
BILLY CONNOLLY -
In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?
BILLY CONNOLLY -
My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don’t eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
The strangest thing is at tea breaks, or coffee breaks or lunch, you forget you’re a zombie. And you’re talking about politics to somebody at the table and you forget that you have a bullet hole in your forehead.
BILLY CONNOLLY -
I’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.
BILLY CONNOLLY