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[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble] Calvin: Ha! I’ve got a great word and it’s on a “Double word score” box! Hobbes: “ZQFMGB” isn’t a word! It doesn’t even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It’s a worm found in New Guinea!

Bill Watterson

Calvin: Do you believe in the Devil? You know, a supreme evil being dedicated to the temptation, corruption, and destruction of man? Hobbes: I’m not sure man needs the help.
BILL WATTERSON

Believe Evil Men
Although I’m certainly glad cartoons are finally getting some respect as an art, I’m fairly ambivalent to see cartooning as a legitimate academic offering. If comics need to be deconstructed and explained, something is really wrong with them.
BILL WATTERSON

Art Deconstruction Needs Offering Sometimes
I’m not a vegetarian! I’m a dessertarian!
BILL WATTERSON

Dessert Food Funny Vegetarian
Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!
BILL WATTERSON

Drugs Missing Rooms Trashed
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
BILL WATTERSON

Ignorance Learning Waste
It’s surprising how hard we’ll work when the work is done just for ourselves.
BILL WATTERSON

Done Hard Surprising
Ms. Wormwood: See me after class, Calvin. Calvin: [retrospectively] I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.
BILL WATTERSON

Command Information Thorough Useless
The strips I admire go farther than a gag a day, and take us into a special world.
BILL WATTERSON

Admire Special World
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
BILL WATTERSON

Direction Events Knowable Order Prejudice
Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
BILL WATTERSON

Cutting Mom Vegetables
As you can see, I have memorized this utterly useless piece of information long enough to pass a test question. I now intend to forget it forever.
BILL WATTERSON

Congratulations Forever Long
The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Future Humorous
I’m learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework…procrastinating and negotiation.
BILL WATTERSON

Homework Negotiation Procrastinating Skills Use
They can’t chain my spirit! My spirit runs free! Walls can’t contain it! Laws can’t restrain it! Authority has no power over it!
BILL WATTERSON

Law Lawn Over Running Spirit Wall
Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.
BILL WATTERSON

Looks Other Real Zombie
But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He’s one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!
BILL WATTERSON

Demand Kind Sacrifice
Good friends are hard to come by… I need more money.
BILL WATTERSON

Good Friend More Money Needs
Isn’t it sad how some people’s grip on their lives is so precarious that they’ll embrace any preposterous delusion rather than face an occasional bleak truth?
BILL WATTERSON

Delusion Faces Life People Preposterous
We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.
BILL WATTERSON

Decision Desire Motivational Ourselves Thinking
I tell you all this because it’s worth recognizing that there is no such thing as an overnight success.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Ideas Recognizing Success Trying
Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.
BILL WATTERSON

Envy Successful Years
Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
BILL WATTERSON

Enough Undead Zombie
We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.
BILL WATTERSON

Desire Life Positive
Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
BILL WATTERSON

Speaking Talking Thinking
In the short term, it would make me happy to go play outside. In the long term, it would make me happier to do well at school and become successful. But in the VERY long term, I know which will make better memories.
BILL WATTERSON

Long Memories Outside School Successful Term
We don’t devote enough scientific research to finding a cure for jerks.
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Inspirational Science
Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.
BILL WATTERSON

Loopholes Pubbawup

[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble] Calvin: Ha! I’ve got a great word and it’s on a “Double word score” box! Hobbes: “ZQFMGB” isn’t a word! It doesn’t even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It’s a worm found in New Guinea!

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[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble] Calvin: Ha! I’ve got a great word and it’s on a “Double word score” box! Hobbes: “ZQFMGB” isn’t a word! It doesn’t even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It’s a worm found in New Guinea!

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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