A box of new crayons! Now they’re all pointy, lined up in order, bright and perfect. Soon they’ll be a bunch of ground down, rounded, indistinguishable stumps, missing their wrappers and smudged with other colors. Sometimes life seems unbearably tragic.
BILL WATTERSONI’m learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework…procrastinating and negotiation.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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What a stupid game! You must have cheated! You must have used some sneaky, underhanded mindmeld to make me lose! I hate you! I didn’t want to play this idiotic game in the first place! I knew you’d cheat!
BILL WATTERSON -
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
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[Calvin and Hobbes are playing Scrabble] Calvin: Ha! I’ve got a great word and it’s on a “Double word score” box! Hobbes: “ZQFMGB” isn’t a word! It doesn’t even have a vowel! Calvin: It is so a word! It’s a worm found in New Guinea!
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The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
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I suppose if we couldn’t laugh at things that don’t make sense, we couldn’t react to a lot of life.
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Hobbes: How come we play war and not peace? Calvin: Too few role models.
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The secret to enjoying your job is to have a hobby that’s even worse
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At school, new ideas are thrust at you every day. Out in the world, you’ll have to find your inner motivation to seek for new ideas on your own.
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[Calvin, who has the chicken pox, calls Susie on the telephone.] Susie: Hello? Calvin: Hi, Susie! It’s me, Calvin! I was wondering if you’d like to come over and play. Susie: Why, sure! Boy,
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Surprise is the essence of humor, and nothing is more surprising than truth.
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Someday, I’d like to meet that little boy… and tell him the awful TRUTH ABOUT THIS PLACE!! Calvin’s Dad: Calvin, be quiet and eat the stupid Lima beans.
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Form follows function, as the architects say. With words and pictures, you can do just about anything.
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Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming.
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Of course, REAL zombies never get the giggles when they look at each other.
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Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.
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Calvin: Sometimes when I’m talking, my words can’t keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we can think faster than we speak? Hobbes: Probably so we can think twice.
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Scientific Progress goes boink?
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I’ve got plenty of common sense! I just choose to ignore it.
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I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.
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Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.
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It’s gratifying to hear that from people who care about comic art. I never know what to make of it when someone writes to say, “Calvin and Hobbes is the best strip in the paper. I like it even more than Nancy.”
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Few things are less comforting than a tiger who’s up too late.
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Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
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Ah, the life of a newspaper cartoonist – how I miss the groupies, drugs and trashed hotel rooms!
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If your knees aren’t green by the end of the day, you ought to seriously re-examine your life.
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I’d like to see cartoonists measuring their work by higher standards than how many papers their strips are in and how much money they make.
BILL WATTERSON