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Death is nature’s way of killing you.

Bill Maher

Just honest. To me, being ‘politically incorrect’ means the opposite of being political — which means to spin everything. That’s all it’s ever meant to me. It’s never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
BILL MAHER

Conservatism Honesty Liberal Myself Politics Spin
Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
BILL MAHER

Mistake Necessary Past Person Wisdom
I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
BILL MAHER

Dangerous Ideas Sin Yourself
Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it’s sexy but one thing that men never think is, “Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.”
BILL MAHER

Hot Man Reading Stop Thinking Woman World
There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
BILL MAHER

Debate Right Science Subject Vote
Denying racism is the new racism.
BILL MAHER

New Race Trend
Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
BILL MAHER

Big Ideas Myself Woman
If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
BILL MAHER

Identity Name Nature Origin
The Dalai Lama visited the White House and told the President that he could teach him to find a higher state of consciousness. Then after talking to Bush for a few minutes, he said, ‘You know what? Let’s just grab lunch.’
BILL MAHER

Food Home President Teaching Time Visit White Yourself
I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
BILL MAHER

Capital Greatness Kill Punishment Work Yourself
A new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
BILL MAHER

Fertilizer Perfume Woman Yourself
Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
BILL MAHER

Himself Intention Object Room Strange Way
Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
BILL MAHER

Atheist Definition Idiot Position Religion Sex
Hollywood isn’t your cesspool, America. It’s your mirror.
BILL MAHER

Hollywood Mirror Yourself
When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, ‘I want to help you get teeth.’ Why does that make me an a**hole?
BILL MAHER

Generosity Help Liberal Myself
Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
BILL MAHER

Attention Country Pay Stupidity

Death is nature’s way of killing you.

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Death is nature’s way of killing you.

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