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You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.

Bill Maher

Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
BILL MAHER

Injustice Tolerance Yourself
It’s not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That’s predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.
BILL MAHER

American Better Education People Stupidity Worst
Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
BILL MAHER

Big Ideas Myself Woman
God knows life sucks. It’s right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, “I can’t take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me.”
BILL MAHER

God Life Misery Myself Pain Talk Terrible
The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
BILL MAHER

Boy Embrace History Ideas Low Slow Technology
Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
BILL MAHER

Himself Intention Object Room Strange Way
I think what’s dangerous is the idea that someone can wash away your sins.
BILL MAHER

Dangerous Ideas Sin Yourself
Men are only as loyal as their options.
BILL MAHER

Loyalty Man Option
The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
BILL MAHER

Death Fact Kind Live Man Plain Religion
Like it or not, we’re still a primitive tribe ruled by fears, superstition and misinformation.
BILL MAHER

Fear Information Rule Tribe
I don’t respect religon. I don’t respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
BILL MAHER

Myself Religion Respect Thinking
You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
BILL MAHER

Democracy Donate Money Yourself
That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.
BILL MAHER

Connection Greatness Internet Network
I feel terrible for a Palestinian child who dies. But, if it’s your father, your brother or your uncle who was firing those rockets into Israel, whose fault is it really? Do you really expect the Israelis not to retaliate?
BILL MAHER

Children Expectation Feel Mistake Rocket Terrible Yourself
Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
BILL MAHER

Arab Date Goodness Man Result Talk Woman
Death is nature’s way of killing you.
BILL MAHER

Death Kill Nature Way Yourself

You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.

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You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.

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Popular Authors

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