black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

Bill Maher

During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
BILL MAHER

Book Coffee Company Depression Fight History People Reading Time Tough
As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
BILL MAHER

Believe Life Path True
In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
BILL MAHER

Constituency Crazy Politics
Death is nature’s way of killing you.
BILL MAHER

Death Kill Nature Way Yourself
Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
BILL MAHER

Big Ideas Myself Woman
To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
BILL MAHER

Appearance Courage Coward Stupidity
Our mistakes from the past are just that: mistakes. And they were necessary to make in order to become the wiser person we became.
BILL MAHER

Mistake Necessary Past Person Wisdom
If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
BILL MAHER

Believe Day Earth End Motivational Oneself World
Funny that all of Nixon’s crimes – anonymous campaign cash, wiretapping, undeclared wars – are all legal now. Discuss.
BILL MAHER

Cash Crime Discussion Legal War
You know, there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time, husband!!!
BILL MAHER

Husband Name People Time Wrong
Atheism is a religion the way abstinence is a sex position.
BILL MAHER

Atheism Position Religion Sex
Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
BILL MAHER

Build Fly People Plane Progress Religion Stop Thinking
Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
BILL MAHER

Call Celebration Fake Fools Ourselves People
What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
BILL MAHER

Believe Love Myself Politics Stupidity
People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They’re DEFINITELY GAY!!
BILL MAHER

Activist People Sexuality Stop
You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.
BILL MAHER

Himself Missing Money Negotiation Yourself

Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Maher Quotes