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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

Bill Maher

When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
BILL MAHER

Office People Silence Talk
Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it’s sexy but one thing that men never think is, “Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.”
BILL MAHER

Hot Man Reading Stop Thinking Woman World
Death is nature’s way of killing you.
BILL MAHER

Death Kill Nature Way Yourself
If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
BILL MAHER

Believe Death Egg Goodness War
I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
BILL MAHER

Feeling Myself Shoes Stand Wear
When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, ‘I want to help you get teeth.’ Why does that make me an a**hole?
BILL MAHER

Generosity Help Liberal Myself
In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
BILL MAHER

Bad Connection Ideas Justify Kind Religious Tolerance Yourself
I don’t respect religon. I don’t respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
BILL MAHER

Myself Religion Respect Thinking
Just honest. To me, being ‘politically incorrect’ means the opposite of being political — which means to spin everything. That’s all it’s ever meant to me. It’s never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
BILL MAHER

Conservatism Honesty Liberal Myself Politics Spin
I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
BILL MAHER

Myself Political Sensitive Truth
I don’t understand why the police are infallible. They remind me a lot of the Catholic Church.
BILL MAHER

Police Religious Reminder Understand
To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
BILL MAHER

Appearance Courage Coward Stupidity
The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
BILL MAHER

Answer Food Health Sick
What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
BILL MAHER

Believe Love Myself Politics Stupidity
Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
BILL MAHER

Big Ego Face Himself Problem Worship
At some point in the last 20 years, the left moved to the center, and the right moved into a mental institution.
BILL MAHER

Institution Mental Move Point Time

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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