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Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in ‘Dancing with the Stars.’

Bill Maher

If conservatives get to call universal healthcare ‘socialized medicine,’ I get to call private, for-profit healthcare ‘soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.’
BILL MAHER

Conservative Human Money Myself Profit Universal
Let’s make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake – you know, to send the right message to kids.
BILL MAHER

Children Law Message People Right Straight
As you go down the path of life, ask whats true. Not who else believes it.
BILL MAHER

Believe Life Path True
The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
BILL MAHER

Certain Ideas People Problem
When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
BILL MAHER

Office People Silence Talk
We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
BILL MAHER

Need Requirement Responsibility Right
There’s a phrase we live by in America: “In God We Trust”. It’s right there where Jesus would want it: on our money.
BILL MAHER

God Live Money Ourselves Trust
You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
BILL MAHER

Difference People Prayer Religious Warm Yourself
What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
BILL MAHER

Believe Love Myself Politics Stupidity
I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
BILL MAHER

Myself Political Sensitive Truth
We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It’s overrun with sheep and conformists.
BILL MAHER

Conform Country Need People Talk
The church has historically been very slow to embrace technology. Until very recently, their idea of a laptop was an altar boy.
BILL MAHER

Boy Embrace History Ideas Low Slow Technology
Based on every statement I’ve heard out of any Republican in the last two years, the Israelis are controlling our government.
BILL MAHER

Control Government Myself Ourselves Statement
The “Power of One” is a slogan–not a goal.
BILL MAHER

Goal Power Slogan
In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
BILL MAHER

Bad Connection Ideas Justify Kind Religious Tolerance Yourself
False hope really makes you cynical.
BILL MAHER

Fake Feeling Hope Yourself

Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in ‘Dancing with the Stars.’

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Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in ‘Dancing with the Stars.’

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Popular Authors

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