In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
BILL MAHERThe idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you’ll wind up with a lover.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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If conservatives get to call universal healthcare ‘socialized medicine,’ I get to call private, for-profit healthcare ‘soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.’
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Denying racism is the new racism.
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Let’s make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake – you know, to send the right message to kids.
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I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
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I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
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God knows life sucks. It’s right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, “I can’t take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me.”
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Only a Bush could answer a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question two different ways and be wrong both times.
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We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It’s overrun with sheep and conformists.
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The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
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The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is a bunch of bullshit. Treat her like you would a friend, and you’ll wind up with a lover.
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Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
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Death is nature’s way of killing you.
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If you believe Jesus ever had a good word for war or torture or tax cuts for the rich, or raping the earth, or refusing water to dying migrants, then you might as well believe bunnies lay painted eggs.
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
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We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.
BILL MAHER