Don’t get so tolerant that you tolerate intolerance.
BILL MAHERThe cable TV sex channels don’t expand our horizons, don’t make us better people, and don’t come in clearly enough.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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I feel like I’m wearing orthopedic shoes, because I stand corrected.
BILL MAHER -
Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
BILL MAHER -
People have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They’re DEFINITELY GAY!!
BILL MAHER -
We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.
BILL MAHER -
I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
BILL MAHER -
Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
BILL MAHER -
The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
BILL MAHER -
They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
BILL MAHER -
Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
BILL MAHER -
Jim Bakker spells his name with two k’s because three would be too obvious.
BILL MAHER -
Sex is too easy for women to get, and too hard for men. I mean, honestly, for a man to walk into someplace and have every woman ready to take him home, he’d have to rule the world. A woman would have to do her hair.
BILL MAHER -
Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it’s sexy but one thing that men never think is, “Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.”
BILL MAHER -
It’s not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That’s predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.
BILL MAHER -
It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
BILL MAHER -
You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.
BILL MAHER