The Drug War is an addiction, really.
BILL MAHERTalk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
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If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
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In Europe, Socialism is just another political party. It just means that government takes over certain things like hospitals, prisons, military and schools that should not be run for profit.
BILL MAHER -
When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, ‘I want to help you get teeth.’ Why does that make me an a**hole?
BILL MAHER -
If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
BILL MAHER -
Emergency rooms will be used the way they were intended to be used: not for primary care, but for when the average freaky American get some strange object up his ass.
BILL MAHER -
Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
BILL MAHER -
Again, (America is) a stupid country with stupid people who don’t pay attention.
BILL MAHER -
Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it’s sexy but one thing that men never think is, “Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.”
BILL MAHER -
Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
BILL MAHER -
I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
BILL MAHER -
America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.
BILL MAHER -
You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
BILL MAHER -
You want to spend your millions on a worthless cause? Try donating it to the Democrats.
BILL MAHER -
Just honest. To me, being ‘politically incorrect’ means the opposite of being political — which means to spin everything. That’s all it’s ever meant to me. It’s never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
BILL MAHER