When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
BILL MAHERTo those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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A new cologne is coming out. It’s for cowboys, and it’s made from cow’s manure. That way the women will be on you like flies!
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We need more people speaking out. This country is not overrun with rebels and free thinkers. It’s overrun with sheep and conformists.
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It’s very hard not to be condescending when you’re explaining something to an idiot.
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Religion is insanity by consensus.
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The thing I don’t understand about homosexuals is, how do they decide which one is the one who’s supposed to pretend they don’t want it?
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Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in ‘Dancing with the Stars.’
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You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.
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I don’t know anyone less Jesus like than Christians.
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I don’t respect religon. I don’t respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
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When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
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The “Power of One” is a slogan–not a goal.
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Religion, it stops people from thinking because they think all the answers are in that one book; it impedes progress; it justifies crazy people. Flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative.
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I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is a neurological disorder.
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Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
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When I see the toothless guy, as a liberal, what I say is, ‘I want to help you get teeth.’ Why does that make me an a**hole?
BILL MAHER