Did you see the 2000 Republican Presidential Convention? The last time the Republicans had that many Black people on a stage, they were selling them!
BILL MAHERTo those people who say, ‘My father is alive because of animal experimentation,’ I say, ‘Yeah, well, good for you. This dog died so your father could live.’ Sorry, but I am just not behind that kind of trade-off.
More Bill Maher Quotes
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I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
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Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
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If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.
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The answer isn’t another pill. The answer is spinach.
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Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
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In an average moral universal society, good people will try to do the right thing, and psychotic people will do wicked things. But if you want to make good people do wicked things, you need them to be religious.
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The plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
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The “Power of One” is a slogan–not a goal.
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You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
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I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
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If you believe that the world is going to come to an end – and perhaps any day now – does it not drain one’s motivation to improve life on earth while we’re here?
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Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
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During the Depression, or back when we were fighting Hitler, people didn’t have time to sue a company if the coffee was too hot. There were urgent, pressing problems. If you think you have it tough, read history books.
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That’s what’s so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity.
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Halloween is a day when we all get to fool people into thinking we’re someone else. Or as Mitt Romney calls it, campaigning.
BILL MAHER