You can’t pray away global warming, and that’s the difference between religious people and sane people.
BILL MAHERIf Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
More Bill Maher Quotes
-
-
Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?
BILL MAHER -
Hot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it’s sexy but one thing that men never think is, “Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.”
BILL MAHER -
If anti-gay stuff is always coming out of your mouth, something very gay is probably going in.
BILL MAHER -
Only a Bush could answer a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question two different ways and be wrong both times.
BILL MAHER -
Some people think I enjoy debate. I don’t. I wish everyone agreed with me; it would save a lot of time.
BILL MAHER -
Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
BILL MAHER -
Suicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
BILL MAHER -
The First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
BILL MAHER -
In this country your guilty until proven wealthy.
BILL MAHER -
I always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.
BILL MAHER -
Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
BILL MAHER -
False hope really makes you cynical.
BILL MAHER -
Maybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
BILL MAHER -
Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for – looking up exes to see how fat they got?
BILL MAHER -
Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
BILL MAHER